ADHD - A Dual Diagnosis
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There’s a particular kind of clarity that arrives when you and your child are diagnosed with ADHD simultaneously. After the assessment with the psychologist ends, your child ultimately being diagnosed, you start to spiral. Suddenly, the patterns that once felt like personal failings or family quirks snap into focus.
"How can I help him/her not suffer like I did? like I still do?"
"No wonder parenting has felt impossible."
"Huh, that's why school s^cked."
You are going to start asking yourself these questions, specially if you are the parent who has also been diagnosed. There is a short period of mix emotions, relief, grief, and validation. Relief that there’s an explanation. Grief for the years spent feeling “not enough” or being the "Odd ball." Validation that the struggle was real, not a moral failing.
Parenting Gets Softer (In the Best Way)
Once you understand that both your brains work a little differently, the whole tone of parenting shifts. The household habits do not intermediately change, but the understanding has, and that shift can be profound. It has been for us.
You get kinder — to them and to yourself
You stop seeing behaviours as “won’t” and start seeing them as “having a hard time.” And you realize… you’ve been having a hard time too.
Suddenly:
- Forgetfulness isn’t laziness
- Emotional intensity isn’t overreacting
- Stimming is out of your control
- Messiness isn’t a moral failing
It’s just ADHD.
Then, what's next?
A shared diagnosis isn’t a setback but a turning point. It opens the door to a gentler, more collaborative, more authentic way of being a family.
It’s the moment you stop trying to squeeze yourselves into a mold that frankly, it never fit, and start building a life that actually works for everyone involved.
You start to wonder, where can you get help?
Well, if you are in or around Ottawa you are in luck! I’m sharing the links that helped me and my child navigate our newly discovered ADHD quirks. These resources were a great starting point for us, but every family is different, remember that you get to choose what truly supports yours. As you explore what’s out there, remember that there’s no “wrong” choice. Like any diagnosis, ADHD exists on a wide spectrum, and the path you take is personal and entirely yours to make.
Links that supported me personally:
- https://www.youtube.com/@DoctorJacque
- https://www.telus.com/en/health (any health line, I just happen to have this one with work) - Used it to start my assessment.
- This book, the author also does a Podcast, which is how I found them - Spotify Episode
As you move forward, remember that navigating ADHD, whether it’s your child’s, your own, or both, it is a journey, not a race. You’ll learn, adjust, stumble, and grow together. What matters most is creating a home where everyone feels understood and supported. Trust yourself, trust your family, and take what works while leaving the rest. You’re building a path that fits your brains, your rhythms, and your story, and that’s something to be proud of.
*None of the links are affiliate